At Loggerheads with Wine.
Be Spirit filled.
There are two passages in the Bible that are worth meditating on together.
Ephesians 5 v 18 and Galatians 5 v 22. Here they are:
- Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled by the Spirit.
- But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
If you are filled by the Spirit of God you will bear Godly fruit. Your life will change. You will be a blessing and become a blessing to others.
The alternative is the wine of this world. The world’s wine is not necessarily alcohol. It is anything that gives your brain a dopamine rush which, if taken to the extreme, leads to bad behavior. Alcohol cuts to two sides. Some people are dulled by it, other people are excited by it. It can work either as a depressant or a stimulant. Debauchery is bad behavior. It can also be described as depravity, immorality, corruption, degeneracy, degradation or overindulgence. There are several more meanings to the word debauchery, all bad.
Even anger can be an intoxicant. It is excitatory and can develop into an addictive personality trait. From this behavior the person gains all sorts of pleasure rewards. Like venting emotion with cathartic effect. Not taking in account the devastating effects it has on others. Anger as an intoxicant lead to lovelessness.
The wine which the Bible talks of is not only a physical substance but can also be an enemy within.
Fragments:
It has been a long while since a wrote my last entry for FidelityChurch’s blog. I felt it had no purpose. There was no tangible reward or rhyme or reason. Yes, the basics of writing are there. Devoting one’s Sabbath to a blog keeps one positively occupied. It is a way to express one’s religion and spirituality. It also serves as a barometer for the level of my Christian life. No blog, little Christian abundance. One just goes through the drag of the days. At present I am coming out of a low point. In fact, I have been at a very low point religiously and spiritually for the past four months.
To clarify. Religion is what I do in my belief system which is definitely not a 100% correct. Spirituality is my communion with God and the body of Christ. The communion with the body of Christ meaning worshiping together. In Truth and Spirit.
Spiritual Body Blow.
I suffered a devastating blow to my connection with God some time back. The Bible states that it is not good to get drunk with wine. Therein lies the road to sin and wrongdoing. Understand that many things work like wine in that it depresses or stimulates like alcohol. So, you’re not off the hook if you use other substances to satisfy your cravings. In the end it leads to less than good outcomes.
The fact of the matter is that I had a nice time having a few drinks. No problem, no sins committed. Peacefully at home in a restful atmosphere.
The problem is how could I find God in the state I was in and what would I say to Him? He is our loving Father. So, He is not far away. But the connection was broken from my side. And I knew it. The problem was not our Father. It was me being outside of God’s will. Thus, came my time in the desert. For four months I vacillated between the pain of my broken relationship with Christ and our Father and my wish for the good times on my terms in the here and now. The decision was not easy. It also was not one single decision. A lot of things constitute wine in this Bible verse. Over eating. Too much caffeine. Too much You Tube. Too much sleep. Aversion to socialization which is not good for witnessing. That is over indulgence in me-time
The position is simple. Either be filled with wine (The pleasures of this world.), or be filled with the Spirit.
Church Strictly against Alcohol.
Our denomination is very much against the use of alcohol. For good reason. A community does better without alcohol. It is a rules-based commandment. No reason is given for it. Reasons are implied, but these reasons will of course have exceptions. So, drink in moderation if you feel you are the exception. But not the spirit filled Christian. Rather let the Bible speak commandments with reasons or with God’s authority. Authentic people will give God precedence in a rules-based Kingdom which is there to glorify His Name.
Breaking the Relationship with God
I have a relationship with the Tri-Une God. Yes. God is God and He is one. I worship Him thus. But my relationship with the persons in the Godhead differs. Jesus, my Savior. (A complex relationship.) Our Father God. The Holy Spirit who works in me. Before this misadventure I did not realize that this relationship was also a real time, conscious, spiritual connection. Doing something willfully wrong that I realize is wrong on so many levels, and then experiencing the loss of God’s presence was a shock to me. The pain was acute. What is more important? Having a good time or a boring Christian life? That was my question. I am 52 years old and my good years are running out. Seeing other Christians’ boring lives was of no help either. One must make a decision. Either the Bible’s way or your own way.
The second time I had a good time enjoying wine was short lived. It brought no satisfaction or resolution to the day or week. Really. Alcohol was no way I lived my life and starting now would be a dead-end alley. Again, I felt the loss of the presence of God.
Swearing holiness.
There was another problem. I started swearing. Not ugly words, but taking God’s Holiness and Power in vain. The “Our Father in Heaven” prayer clearly states that all the power and glory belongs to God the Father. Phrases and sentences just slipped out of my thoughts and mouth that glorified and praised things other than God. I was not worshipping God anymore. So, I started worshipping things. Attributing power to otherwise powerless objects became a problem. It became clear to me that a void was created in my life when I lost my communion with God. Other things tumbled into the space of God. Things that were certainly not lofty or honorable. I struggled with this for weeks keeping up a one-sided prayer. Well knowing that God does not heed sinners who persist in their sins.
Closed Door.
The door to God was closed. Living without God is terrible. That assurance one has with a live relationship with our Father was not in me anymore. The uncertainties and complexities of life confronted me. With our Father it is easy. He takes care and provides. If you sin, He is gracious and forgives. But that door was closed for me.
I was not on the side of the Ruler of the universe. I was on my own side. It was not a good feeling.
I was alone.
Anyway. Life goes on and I adjusted. The gaping hole was there but it was slowly getting smaller or less obvious. Then a small thing happened.
I started remembering God.
The pain in my insides was considerably less. But I remembered the satisfying times with God. I missed being with Him. I missed talking to Him. Trusting Him to take care. Bringing him my problems. Saying thank you. There are so many things in my life to say thank you for. Gratitude is part of me. If God is not part of my life, who do I thank for the blessings in my life? Worst of all I know I do wrong things. The fact that God is not active in my life does not make Him go away. If I do someone wrong it is easy. I apologize if possible. But some sins are against God. What do I do with them? Yes, I feel guilty when I do wrong things. Even when I am alone and only God can notice.
A weight was steadily building up on my consciousness. Being away from God was one thing, but sinning and letting it pile up was no good thing. The wrong things I did simply stayed there as a silent witness. Without Jesus Christ’s blood to cancel wrong doings, no good will come of a life lived wrongly. At some stage the accumulation of sin will either break your spirit or change you into a hardened person who does not care about right or wrong in life. I do not want to be a callous person whose morals are questionable.
A Father’s Responsibility.
A more serious issue. I am the father of a household. If I do not do a proper job of representing my family before God and for God, who is going to do it? Whose job is it to steer a family’s spiritual wellbeing? Everybody else has other more serious pressing spiritual obligations. It is not the work of the preacher. I am responsible for my family and their religious life in the eyes of God.
Living without God is terrible. Actually, God is never far away. Furthermore, He never stops loving you and always desires fellowship with you. But God’s place in your heart gets ripped away by disobedience. Especially disobedience to the clear, repeated voice of the Holy Spirit.
Spotify. The Game Changer
Spotify also helped me get out of this hole I fell into. Playing Christian music every day helped change my heart and attitude. The Christian music I listened to on Spotify was uplifting and heart changing. The music took me out of everyday life and put me on a place where I could connect with the Kingdom of God in a new way. Music changes the soul.
Wounded.
As of now I am still wounded. I have realized my dependency on God. It will take time to change into a Christlike person who is Spirit filled.
I now know that there is no future for me in the juicy fruits of this world. But evolving to a new person in Christ will not be fast or easy.
I have experienced the reality of separation from God. With this I now know the value of being in God’s grace. There is no other way except the way of the cross. Leaving the old life. Dying to it. Getting a new, Spirit filled life from God.
Healing.
Prayer. Bible study. Worshipping together. Witnessing God’s Grace.
Abba Father.